So this is what it all comes down to.
This, based solely on our ambiguity.
The boundaries that we've created
to keep ourselves in and keep the world out.
Cross the line and I'll show you the meaning of dismemberment.
This life has been taken by storm
and rescued by a sinking ship.

delusions of grandeur

To be that man who was once known
as a better man than the one who is shown.
The one whose presence could move a dying wind
simply by sitting there with that godawful grin.
His soothing voice hit the soft spot in your ear,
like a the shining light through a window, so clear.
He was the man of your dreams, but why did you stall?
And now he's gone forever, you must recall.
He's in the past and surely will be forgotten,
as he makes his way to such a lonely bottom.
His head was a faucet leaking love, laughter and lies.
All his secret wishes; all his world famous sighs.
So come down from those tired clouds,
get back on your feet and put your head in the ground.

Mixed feelings. What to make of them? The story so far is anything but glamerous, but I have been enjoying myself here in Lawrence. I absolutely love it here. The enviornment, the people, the college, the sports, the bars, the girls. All of it. It's a great place to be.
Like I said it's been anything but glamerous because I've no means of income thus far and have been scraping by only by the grace of my parents who have been very supportive since they day I left home. I'm quite surprised--in a good way--that they are making the effort to help me out when I know they don't have much to give.
I missed the big extravaganza of a concert on Friday. It was Blink-182, Weezer, Taking Back Sunday and many other bands, but those were the main bands listed on the bill. It was pretty much an all day festival that started around 2, so everyone was gone by 1 P.M. Literally everyone I knew in the area was there except for me, so I had nothing to do that day and no one to hang out with. I sat at home all day. Downloaded some albums. Cooked a decent meal. Watched George Lopez. Called it a day. I didn't even go out when everyone got home. I'm not really too upset that I missed it. I was never a huge Blink-182 fan and I had just seen Taking Back Sunday this summer.
I went to the KU football season-opener against Northern Colorado on Saturday. It wasn't 'til 6 P.M. so we had all afternoon to get drunk, and did a damn good job of it. I'll admit I didn't so much like going to the game trashed. It was still good but I just wasn't there like I should have been. I'll definitely drink before the games still, just not as much. It was ridiculous though. The game was declared a sell-out a few days before gameday. The stadium holds 50,071 people and there was a record setting 52,350 people there. Most attended game in school history, pretty crazy to be a part of that. The game was a blow-out--though not the way the coaching staff envisioned it, I'm sure--with the Jayhawks coming out at the half with a 28-0 lead, for a final score of 49-3. After the game I went home, drunk and tired. I just didn't have it in me to keep partying even though it was a Saturday night.
I'm looking forward to going to see Every Time I Die w/Bring Me The Horizon, Oh, Sleeper and Architects (UK) on Thursdsay in Kansas City. It's gonna be at the Beaumont, which I like because you can smoke inside. I'm going to the show with Kelli Karlin--Rachel's younger sister--which is random as just about anything you could possibly think of. I posted something on Facebook seeing if anyone wanted to go for the umptenth time and finally she responded to it and--to my surprise--wanted to go to the show.
Ashton will be there as well, so I'm excited to see her too. I haven't see her since...prom? Wow. Has it really been two years? Fuck...I hate realizing how fast time flies.
Well anyways, that is that and that is all. I'm still unemployed and will be broke again after I go to this show but it will be well worth it.