Sticks & Bricks

I've been told by many people that I'm an asshole, and I get it. I know I'm an asshole. I'm at peace with this fact. I embrace my inner-asshole and let it out for air when need be. What gets me is, people always tell me I'm an asshole, not when I'm making fun of them but when I'm tearing someone's ego down with rude remarks. They say I'm an asshole, but they're laughing at the mean things I say. It's like they're laughing because they think I get some sort of pleasure and their laughter is acceptance and they want to be on my good grace, because they know just how condescending and blunt I can be. I feel like Regina George (Rachel McAdams) from Mean Girls with her posse that secretly hates her and wants to bring her down, but they remain loyally by her side at all times reminding her of how pretty and awesome she is, like she even needs to be reminded. She's a cold hearted bitch queen and she knows it. She, on the otherhand feeds off this negative energy that she puts off and loves to watch people squirm beneath her feet. I just can't help the way I am with words. I dig deep for the most hurtful things I could possibly say to people and I have them holstered, ready to rock at the slightest given chance that they double-cross me or make me look like a fool. I'll bring up the fact that they are the way they are because his or her mom walked out on their family to run off with some other guy because his or her father wasn't good enough, and that this reflects how much of a childhood they had.
Too much. This is how I feel though. I feel like most of my friends don't try to piss me off just because they know that if anyone is going to make someone cry because of how many fucked up, hurtful insults he can think of, it's going to be me. And I have a lot of dirt on my friends, which sucks for them.