Apathy is a cold body.

Well it's officially been a week since I've posted anything. Don't worry you didn't miss out on much. I've had the last 3 days off from work so I've been doing a whole lot of sleeping in and getting better acquainted with my couch...you know, just trying to find my true inner self and what not. I guess they call it "soul-searching", but I wasn't searching for anything more than a simple answer. But I don't know what I need answered. I guess maybe the fact that I don't really know what I'm doing with my life. At this stage, not a whole lot. Living week in and week out as if tomorrow will bring a greater joy.

There is no way to make up for these 20 years.

Barely able to keep the lids open.
At times I might think I need the past,
but who would want to go back there?
It's already hard enough to say I need it.
Bad memories and good times...
Keep me from believing that I can still jump off.
No longer the same.
You grow accustomed to seeing the sun in a different location.
Standing still becomes a chore.
Anxious to get the pavement moving.
The easy solution is to leave this and everything else and move on.
But they find ways to drag you along
and dismantle what you created.
Having this is not having to fend for yourself anymore.
Happiness is not having to lie on the floor dead and alone.