Honeymoon is over.

There's some fucked up people in this world.
But honey, I aint one of 'em.
Call me crazy, but I can feel you in my mind.
You found a way tear down these walls.
You pulled me out of the wreck.
I saw the sparks ignite like the fire in your eyes.
We painted crooked lines but we danced in perfect time.
Beautiful day, you could hardly notice all the disease.
Everything was in its right place.
"Can we just slow down?
My head is spinning and I need some rest."
But we shouldn't slow down, not for them.
They will be the end of us.
Shunned by the angry justic mob, our own.
And everything was wrong so we sang sentimental songs.
We decorated the streets with the homeless and their whiskey bottles.
But I swore to you I loved you.
'Til death do us part, until the bitter end.
I promised you the world and all you got was half a block.

Tightrope tragedy. (No no no no no...)

Didn't go to Kid CuDi after all. Not too disappointed about that. Work has become increasingly difficult for me to tolerate at times. Nothing worth noting. I've simply grown weary of the tedious work and all the negativity that surrounds that establishment. I did, however, just receive my raise so maybe once that kicks in my work just might pay off.
I feel like I need some time off to smell the roses. More like the dying trees. I just need to get my head back on my shoulders. I need to focus on what's best for me. Need to think clearly. I need to get out in the world. You're already out there. I need to experience different things.
I need someone in my life. Someone to give me some sort of purpose. Like a girlfriend or maybe a college professor. Someone to help me get my life back in order. Maybe I just have to figure it out for myself. It wouldn't hurt to at least try...

A Kid Named CuDi

Last night I found out the hip-hop/r&b artist Kid CuDi will be performing at the Midland Theatre in Kansas City on October 18th. I wish I would have known sooner so that I could have requested the day off from work. Luckily today I a co-worker if I could trade shifts with her so I could attend she didn't really put up much of a fight and agreed to do so. I'm pretty excited about it. I know a lot of people who will be in attendance so it should be a really good time. I just don't have the money to buy a ticket when they go on sale tomorrow morning so I'll have to wait until next thursday when I get paid to order mine. Hopefully it's not sold out by then because the concert is four days after I plan on ordering it.
Next thursday is also the KU vs. K-State football game in Lawrence. Four Year Strong, Comeback Kid and The Wonder Years are also playing at the Granada that night. I'm having a really hard time deciding which one I'd rather be at. I don't have to pay to get into shows at the Granada so that would be a huge plus. I also know a lot of people who will be attending the show. I would, however, love to be at the football game because it'd be nice to see us pull off a victory against our in-state rivals K-State. I don't have a ticket for that and don't really plan on paying $50 for one. I'm hoping I can find a student ticket for $10. Basically that's what it's going to come down to. If I can find a cheap ticket for the game I'll probably go for at least the first half and then head over to the Granada for the rest of the show. Sounds like a great night.
After the show some of my friends who are attending are gathering at McKenzie's apartment. I would really like to go for a few reasons. I would love to hang out with some of my friends that will be there and there's this girl I also really want to hang out with. She's super cute. I've only met her once before but I would really like to get to know her. But...there's always a but.
Rachel Careathers is planning on coming up to Lawrence for the football game, so I'm going to be stuck with her for the majority of her stay in Lawrence. It would be hard/annoying to bring her with me everywhere I go, including to this after-party where I'm hoping to hang out with said cutie.
She also wants to come back for Halloween, just two weeks later. She was also up here two weekends in a row two weekends ago. I don't know what to think of it. I don't know if she just really likes me or if she's just using me to have a place to stay when she visits. She usually stays one night with me and one night some other guy she knows up here. I'm kind of apathetic to the whole situation. I thought I liked her a long time ago, but the more time I spend with her the more I want her to stop visiting. Not because I don't like her being around. She's fun and nice. I just don't like someone hanging around when I'm trying to go out.

Lawrence Primal World

I suppose since it's been almost a year since I've posted an entry I could at least attempt to recap this last year.

I am still working at Walmart, though I grow weary of this establishment and the way it treats its employees, particularly myself. I've began the job-hunting process, though it is quite tedious and I am not one that is eager to seek employment elsewhere. Not that I wouldn't like to work some place else, I just hate change I guess. It's a terrible feeling knowing that you've become accustomed to being treated like shit but are still unwilling to do much about it. But I will, soon enough.
I live with Jon Urban as opposed to Brian and Madison. They were great roommates and much better at decorating their home than Jon and I. I guess it helps to have that feminine touch. I miss seeing them all the time but Jon's a pretty fun guy to be around unless he's black-out drunk, which, just so happens to be, most of the time. We live about a block north of the football stadium which is ideal if you're into that sort of thing. I really love the neighborhood we live in though. It's almost suburban in a way. Very quiet during the day time. Quiet and quaint. But then there's about a hundred drunk college students roaming the streets on the weekends. It's rather annoying at times. I guess I can't complain as I am usually one of them.
I still haven't been in a relationship since moving to Lawrence. I'm not quite sure that there's a reason for that. I just haven't really made a huge effort to meet girls other than the ones I meet through Jon. He usually meets girls that are whores though. It's like he's a slut-magnet. I have met a few nice girls, but none that really take notice in me as anything other than Jon Urban's friend/roommate. I guess I have myself to blame for that. So the search continues. It's hard to stand out in a town where you're surrounded by thousands of people your age who are probably a better version of you. I'm a pretty outgoing guy but shy in comparison to anything Jon can pull off, I sometimes end up being his shadow.
More of my friends are turning 21 by the day, it's nice to be able to be able to invite them out to the bars and all that. Nothing's really changed though. It's always still the same few friends going to the bars getting drunk and not remembering any of it.
Our drinking habits haven't changed much. Still drinking too much. Still hanging out at the same people's parties. Still doing the same old things we've done before. But I still love every moment of it.
I've made some pretty good friends here in Lawrence. Some pretty good acquaintances too. The friends I've made are a lot of fun to be around. They're all single for the most part so that's nice too. The majority of my friends from Garden City that live here are in serious relationships so they generally do what people in serious relationships do. And that's fine. I'm happy for them, I really am. I love them all very much. It's just hard to really go out and be crazy with people who have a second opinion. That little voice of reasoning. That just sounds negative and it's not. It's actually probably a really good thing because I often find myself in situations I'd rather not be in. It's just nice to be good friends with single guys who are always down to do the things that single guys do.
I guess I've found out a lot about myself in this year than I thought I would. I can tell that I've grown up a lot. I guess I've gone through a lot in the last year. It never really occurred to me until just now. It's like the last year just flashed before my eyes. It's easy to forget about the little things in life. I've grown but I'm still the same mess I was before. Maybe that's not progress but it definitely isn't regress.
I still feel like I'm searching for something though. Maybe I just need to be back in school because that's about the only thing that everyone else seems to be doing that I am not. I want to go back, I've wanted to for quite some time. It never made much sense to leave college for two years in the first place. Maybe I was just using that as an excuse because I didn't want to grow up.